"Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaegar died." - George R.R. Martin from A Storm of Swords
That quote has been rattling around in my head all day, because sometimes you do everything right and it still doesn't work out. And when it doesn't work out in front of your entire community, you feel every bit of it.
One of my greatest fears when I decided to apply for Director of Schools in Greeneville was how exposed the whole process would be. Your application is public record. Your interviews happen in front of the board, the staff, the community. People you work with every day are watching. People you go to church with are watching. The parents of the kids in your schools are watching.
There is no quiet rejection letter. No polite phone call. You find out the same way everyone else does, in a room full of people.
I knew this going in. I applied anyway.
When you can't control the outcome, you control what you can. I prepared like my career depended on it, because in some ways it felt like it did. I built data profiles on every school in the district. I studied enrollment trends, assessment data, budget history, staffing patterns. I rehearsed answers until they were sharp and concise. I walked into every round of interviews knowing I had done the work.
And I think it showed. I gave short, direct answers instead of rambling. I spoke from experience, not theory. I was ready.
But preparation doesn't entitle you to anything. It just means you did your part.
In the end, this is a political process. You need 60% of a board to believe you are the right person at the right time. That is three out of five people. You can be qualified, prepared, respected, and still come up one vote short. That is not a reflection of your worth. It is just math.
The person who was selected is a worthy candidate, and I mean that sincerely. I will work hard for him. That is not a line. I have spent my career in service to kids and communities, and that does not change because a vote did not go my way.
People will tell you that failure builds character. I have enough character. What failure actually does is clarify things. It strips away the story you were telling yourself and forces you to look at what is left.
Here is what I know now. I can walk into a room full of people, put myself on the line, and handle the outcome either way. I know that I am good at what I do, not because a board validated it, but because the work I have done over the last two years speaks for itself. And I know that the fear of public failure is worse than the actual thing.
The actual thing just feels like a Tuesday that didn't go your way with a little bit of the five stages of grief sprinkled in.
The Rhaegar quote works because it captures something true: doing everything right does not guarantee the ending you want. Rhaegar was valiant, noble, and honorable. He still lost.
But here is where the analogy breaks down. Rhaegar is dead. I am going to work tomorrow. There are budgets to manage, schools to visit, a salary study to finish, and a hundred other things that matter just as much today as they did last week.
If you are thinking about going for something big and public and risky, do it. Prepare like crazy. Give it your best. And if it does not work out, you will survive. The sun comes up, the work continues, and the people who matter already knew what you were made of before the vote.
"But the wind still blows over Savannah, and in the Spring the turkey buzzard struts and flounces before his hens." - Bukowski, "16-bit Intel 8088 Chip"